He just won’t stay

Men, mbu you don’t want lip balm, vaseline, elianto ova kimbo for your lips yet your lips are dry, cracking, white and looking not so good mbu you will be percieved as gay. Abeg. Then buy enough saliva so you lubricate those damn lips. Don’t walk around looking like dried cassava. Sometimes you all look good until someone looks at the lips.
Enehu, this one is controversial. You have your side of things. Now read mine. Me I (Kenyanese) read all the time that the way to a man’s stomach is food, ooh sex ooh inner peace…Its a lie. Even if he is given your whole clan of women. One who cooks, a few for a screw, one to clean his bum bum…if he cannot be content, he will be out there looking for another one(In Dj Khalid’s voice).
Oooh hunny you will cook. You will live for cook shows. You will camp at let’s cook Kenyan meals. You will try all kinds of food. You will cook in see through lingerie. He will eat. Eat, Praise your cooking, sleep snooring, then wake up, take shower then go for a business trip to her girl who makes all sorts of tumbukiza. If you have to cook good food, don’t attach it to your posibilities of being a keeper. Cook well because y’all wanna eat finger licking food. Period. Food won’t keep him oooh. He be satisfied but looking for just a smiley face and because you are a queen of frowns and silent treatment, your cooking charm never works.
Oooh inner peace. Okay. You let him think of how if Messi made a banana kick they would score. You don’t interfere with his thoughts. You don’t ask about what he is thinking of. You don’t snoop and find reasons to fight.
You don’t argue, just a calm house with a wife who has decided not to nag. Inner peace he will have but because you don’t dress like flani and the girl in his vision is dressing so, he will kiss you goodbye going to his boys and lands to his ideal girl…and hey, bro code will not sell out that guy.
Sex. If you give him wakanda styles he will stay. If you give him 3 times or more like medicine he will adore you. Let’s laugh. Its stupid. You can watch porn all day. Be that pole dance or belly dance queen, give him even your intestines. Yo! His problem with you is not sex. Its that you maybe just don’t keep your mouth shut and all your friends and family no to yhe slightest detail of your relationship and it pisses him off.
Abeg abeg. Whatever Bi. Masafari anga msafiri tells you, listen and sieve. Some of it is bullshit. Bullshit! She can go argue with Murkomen.
If a man wants to marry you, let him do because he likes you as you are otherwise you will put in too much effort for little gain.
I am an ex wife material. All wife materials cook, wipe hubbys feet, take him to ICU when they have flu or cough…me, we are together just for just…because we have things that make us happy together. We are together because you feel that I am ultimate even with my shortcomings. If you are content as is, there is nothing else that will make you go because my madness is the isht! It is a personal thing. Even King Mswati gets to choose wives but he prolly feels he misses something so he calls for a parade again.
Me these days, I put no struggle to it. You want to be with me, please note that we have no rules in my world. We cook sometimes, we eat out sometimes, we order for delivery other times. We have sex whenever, wherever. We throw socks and anyhow till we are in the mood to organize. Laundry is when am in the mood, or you can do too.We sleep like we are paid for it. We don’t yell. It’s an unwritten rule. We speak and many more.
Its a personal thing if you want a mad woman for a partner. Find exactly what makes you happy. Be content.
The key thing is contenment. If you aint content, even sex from the queen herselefu will not satisfy you.
If you won’t be content with the beauty in your house, you will go look for another.
If you won’t be content, nothing will keep you to her and her to you. Then you will start justifying why a man will always cheat. Soon you will be a motivation speaker telling us what keeps a man. Contentment. Period.
While looking, be sure of what you are getting into.
Yooo! Woman, no amount of pole dance will keep him…naenda hivi nakam

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